Motherhood - We're All Losing Our Sh*t
I’m gonna be honest with you all. Last week was a tough week. Between the husband being out of town for four days, the crazy snow storm we got, trying to take care of two little kids on my own and still get myself to work, I was ready to lose my mind. I’m beginning to realize this whole mothering thing is really, really hard. Now I don’t mean hard like I just had a baby and I’m sleep deprived and healing kind of hard. No, I mean, the realization that I have no idea what I’m doing and I think I’m failing kind of hard.
There. I said it. Some days - most days - especially lately, I feel like I am failing as a mother.
And can I just ask: who in the world came up with the term the “terrible twos”, because the twos have nothing on the threes? My Sweet Pea has turned into a Sassy Pea. A threenager if you will. Every little thing is a tantrum. Can you please help me pick up your toys? Major meltdown. No, you can not watch tv while we are having dinner. Total tantrum.
So, what’s a mom to do? Well, my best. That’s all I can do.
Do I lose my sh*t sometimes and yell. Absolutely. But, I am trying really, really hard to be present. To get down on her level (literally get on the floor with her) and to show her affection and attention, because deep down I know that's what this is all about.
I’m also trying to really focus on taking care of myself as well, so that I can be my best. There are some days I feel I am burning the candle on both ends and something is going to have to give. Between trying to build my business, working my “real job”, having a family, sleeping, exercising, and having a social life, something has to give. What’s that saying? You can’t pour from an empty cup? I totally get it now.
For me nutrition is a huge part of this - of my self-care. Plain and simple - I feel better, less stressed, less anxious, less tired - when I eat the foods that I know are nourishing to me. I need to meal prep and have healthy foods on hand otherwise I am likely to just order carryout or stop at a vending machine. I know this about myself.
Another important factor for me is some alone time. Whether its taking a bath or going to yoga or even going to the store by myself, I need the actual physical space around me to be empty of kids for just a little while, so that I can come back and be refreshed and present for them. Being the mom to two little kids can really leave you feeling touched out. I don't think its too much to ask to have some part of my day where no one is hanging off of me. Is it? Don't get me wrong. I adore and love my kids and am grateful every day that I have them. But, again, I can't be my best for them without taking care of myself sometimes too.
Self-care is not selfishness.
So, why am I sharing all this? Well, because I’ve had to take a long hard look at myself as a mother recently and admit to a lot of faults and mistakes. I’ve been spending too much time on social media on my phone. I haven’t been getting down on the floor and actually playing with my kids. I’ve been using the tv as a babysitter too much.
It’s only by being really honest with myself and breaking down a little that I can make things better.
Do I expect to be a perfect mom? Absolutely not, but I’m working on being better. It’s a work in progress. My life as a mother is a work in progress.